Everybody I know would like to get in on a scam. Nothing illegal, but something that makes a lot of money quick and requires little or no work. Sounds good, right? I think I have the answer: rehearsal studios. It’s so easy: you buy a building in a remote, industrial area, turn it into rehearsal studios, unleash it on the throngs of needy musicians in your area and watch the money pour in! It couldn’t be simpler. Bands do not need much. Just a power supply and walls, really, and they’ll pay good money for it. Things like heat and air conditioning are really just bonuses. I remember having to practice in a parka, scarf, hat and fingerless gloves in an unheated space in the dead of winter. It wasn’t fun but we were young and dedicated. Things are a bit better now, thankfully. We only had to run one space heater in our “heated” building last Saturday. I still never took off my coat.

Currently, my band practices in a rehearsal building on the Williamsburg/Greenpoint border. Would you like a tour? It’s a lovely place.

Welcome! Here’s the entrance.

This photo was not staged.

The halls are pretty plain.

But, sometimes people decorate.

There is a bathroom with soap and everything (bonus!). By the looks of that door, though, no one is using it.

People often find inspiration in the bathroom. Here are some sample lyrics written on the wall closest to the toilet.

Please disregard the brown streak at the bottom of this photo. I’m trying as hard as I possibly can to pretend it doesn’t exist in the same world that I do.

Sure, it wouldn’t be all fun and money running a rehearsal studio building. There would be issues. Like boogers. You would have to deal with those. See below.

A note from the management.

And, un-empty empties. They’re a problem. I'm glad someone decided to take it upon themselves to offer up a simple solution. Finish your beers, lightweights!

Here’s where the magic happens.

My bandmates love it when I take their picture.

And, importantly, where the management picks up the money.

Hopefully, I’m a better musician than photographer. Jeez.

It’s a jungle out there. Maybe owning a rehearsal studio building isn’t for everyone, but my music recommendation for the month just might be. (See what I did there? In the biz, we call that a segue.) A.A. Bondy. Look him up if you don’t know him. His new album When the Devil’s Loose is a collection of beautifully written and arranged folky songs. It’s mellow, moving, inspiring and just gorgeous. He is another Dylan follower but subtly so. I love this album and am eagerly awaiting his show at Union Hall on February 6th.